Wednesday – April 3, 2019

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1860 – The Pony Express delivery service was launched. (When it absolutely, positively has to be there in three months.)

1930 – Ras Tafiri became emperor Halle Selassie of Ethiopia (He inspired the Rastafarian movement.)

1974 – The super-tornado outbreak hits 13 states. (Did we blame carbon for this?)

News and The Politics out of D.C.

SECURITY BREACH AT MAR A LAGO — CHINESE WOMAN WITH FOUR CELL PHONES AND MALWARE GOT IN

WILL THE PRESIDENT CLOSE THE BORDER WITH MEXICO — WE’LL SEE AFTER HE VISITS ON FRIDAY

DHS SECRETARY COMPARED BORDER CRISIS TO A CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE DISASTER

TWO MORE WOMEN COME FORWARD WITH BIDEN STORIES

MRS. BIDEN WAS SPOTTED KISSING AMAZON’S JEFF BEZOS… (WHEN WILL THIS END?)

BIDEN’S ‘CREEPINESS’ PROBLEM MAY BE NOTHING COMPARED TO HIS UKRAINE PROBLEM

DC EVENT FEATURING 8 DEM CANDIDATES STARTS WITH CHANTING THE WORDS OF A COP KILLER

‘SAVE OUR STATES’ MOVEMENT HOPES TO DEFEND THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE

CNN HOST SUGGESTS ‘LOCK HER UP’ CHANT IS HATE SPEECH AND SHOULD BE BANNED

HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE WANTS OVERSIGHT INTO FOX NEWS’ EDITORIAL DECISIONS

General News

IT GOT HEATED ON ‘THE VIEW’ AS MEGHAN MCCAIN AND (the ironically named) JOY BEHAR BUMPED HEADS again

MICK JAGGER TO HAVE HIS HEART SURGERY ON FRIDAY

POLICE ARREST SUSPECTED KILLER OF RAPPER NIPSEY HUSTLE

TUCKER CARLSON’S RATINGS BEAT CNN’s ENTIRE PRIME TIME LINE UP COMBINED (CNN ISN’T TAKING IT WELL)

CHICAGO’S NEW MAYOR IS LORI LIGHTFOOT — A GAY, BLACK WOMAN — A FIRST FOR THE WINDY CITY

SPACE STATION IN DANGER OF HITTING 400+ PIECES OF DEBRIS AFTER INDIA BLEW UP A SATELLITE

WOMAN MAY HAVE IRREVERSIBLE BRAIN DAMAGE FOLLOWING THREE-WEEK JUICE DIET 

PROMISING RESULTS IN TESTS FOR COLON CANCER VACCINE

Strange News Catching My Eye

‘TUMBLEWEED BURGER’ SOLD AT MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME GETS RIPPED

‘CONSENT CONDOMS’ — THEY NEED TWO PEOPLE TO OPEN THE PACKAGE

WHY YES, WE HAVE ‘LEMUR YOGA’ — IT’S REAL AND I KINDA WANNA TRY IT

BRITISH SCHOOLS ARE REMOVING ANALOG CLOCKS BECAUSE TEENS CAN’T READ THEM!